Author: psychouser
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We often see people teaching us how to identify “toxic family of origin” online. These families share some common characteristics, such as:
1. There is no basic respect and boundaries between family members
2. The stronger party in the family controls the weaker party (physically and mentally)
3. Emotional indifference among family members…
When we hear too much negative information about family, we will gradually forget what a normal and healthy family should look like?
In fact, healthy families share some common characteristics with toxic families.
Below we will help you judge what kind of family is a healthy family from 6 aspects.
Six Characteristics of a Healthy Family
1. Respect healthy emotional and privacy boundaries
In a healthy family, both parent and child have privacy, and all family members understand and respect this. In a healthy family, parents play the role of a teacher. They help children develop empathy by developing their own self, teaching children how to exercise self-control and cope with emotions or stress. Parents will use their love and actions to help their children develop a sound personality, and the main role of children is to “learn”.
2. Every family member has an opinion
In a healthy family, everyone can have an opinion. All family members should respect and allow other members to express their views. Children who grow up in a family that allows expression can identify themselves more clearly and think better about what they want to do as adults? What to do? Their lives will have a main line of their own.
3. Fair, age-appropriate family rules and expectations
Every family has its own set of rules. While we can’t define what family rules are right, we can judge whether a set of rules makes sense.
A reasonable set of family rules should be equal and age appropriate. Children are still growing and learning, so caregivers should not have unrealistic expectations of children, let alone put the burden of supporting the family on children.
A reasonable set of family rules should be consistent, fair, and age-appropriate, and each family member can play their own roles well.
4. Appropriately meet the needs of each individual
A healthy family should make people feel respected and valued. Family members care about each other’s health and well-being.
Parents provide loving and emotional care for their children and meet their legitimate needs as they grow. Husband and wife pay attention to each other, respect each other, and do their best to meet each other’s needs within their own tolerance.
5. All family members feel safe
In a healthy family, children have a strong sense of security as they learn, grow, and make mistakes. They can feel the unconditional love of their parents.
They have a normal understanding of “making a mistake,” which doesn’t make them feel threatened or abandoned. They know that the love of their parents has nothing to do with whether they are good or not, even if they are ordinary, their parents still love them.
6. Expect Mistakes and Forgive Each Other in a Healthy Way
A healthy family should be able to tolerate “mistakes”. Everyone can see people as people and understand that everyone needs to learn and grow. A healthy family handles differences and conflicts rationally, improves mistakes by exploring the causes of mistakes, and finally reaches mutual understanding.
Children know they will be punished for their mistakes, but they also know they will be forgiven. Mistakes are addressed in the moment, rather than turning into years of lingering guilt.
These are some of the basic characteristics that a healthy family shares.
Although every family is different, a healthy family must be the warmest haven for everyone.
